Not So Oober Doober KAH-POW...

Ethan, you suck. I have nothing to do anymore. I end up sitting at my computer for like 12 hours of the day with nothing to do but write things here...

To top things off, I think I have another veruka...

-Vinny

Oober Doober KAH-POW!

Hello, my silly little ducklings! As of this moment, I am working at Lutheran Island Camp (Henning, Minnesota), having a BLAST cooking nibblies and playing guitar for tender lumplings to show them the love of Christ Jesus and share God's Word. It has been a most fulfilling couple of days and I look forward to the rest of my summer.

God bless you all.

:) and :P

-Ethan

It's Morphing Time.

Has anyone ever wondered why the United States of America has such a massive amount of debt? Most people will go around and tell you that it was caused by the World Wars and such. Tell them to go eat a "I don't know anything" sandwich, because we've finally discovered the TRUTH behind our nation's financial problems.

Power Rangers.

It is true, my good people. The Power Rangers are to blame for almost 2/3 of our money that has yet to be repaid. You see, Rita (or whoever the villain may happen to be) tends to enjoy watching our country destroy itself, hence the use of Putties. Then, using a steroid-type substance to enhance to pituitary gland, she causes most of the monsters she summons to go through puberty WAY too early. This makes them grow about 7 times the amount that they should in a normal lifetime. After calling upon the creatures that may not have existed and shouting "AAAHH!!" for an hour, they finally need the aid of the Megazord.

Now, the Megazord is made up of all of the Rangers' beasts that profile their suit color and/or race. When all of these monsters are combined, it is time to lay the prehistoric smackdown. The one thing, in all of my time watching this show, that I thought was amazing is how they could destroy half of the town, and still come out the heroes. I can't imagine what their bills must be like. They destroy cars, buildings, lampposts, and may even kill an innocent civilian or two (I'm sure these parts were edited out when the show was being processed). So I wish for someone to come up with a logical explanation as to why the Rangers should be congratulated when we could just look at the villain and say, "Hey, thank you for the destruction. We appreciate it!"

It's Morphing time...ha, TRY AND MORPH OUR ECONOMY BACK INTO SHAPE, YOU GOBLINS!

Amen.

-Vinny

Rufio, Oh Rufio!

This nifty little poem was invented by our good friend
Emily Finke. It tells a tale of Rufio, from the ever-
so-famous movie, "Hook." Enjoy!

there once was a fuzzy so fuzzy
and a bipolar rufio cut
the medicine he drank with poison
to ferment in his fluffy gut
he fell and writhed and wriggled
and to the place he went
to be cured of his fuzzy ailment
or to the assylum be sent.

his true love trembled and cried
with an elephant bear spelling why
even ollie could not provide the comfort
taken by her fuzzy rufio love
for up he went and down he came
to the submission of his life's hallow bane
and he swirled around in her red haired head
and died in the sheets of his cold hard bed

oh rufiio!! why did you submit?
why didn't he let the place be his own
to heal and learn and realize that
rufio hate has it's hit
in the heart of those he most
loves.

rufio fuzzy cut rufio
poisoned, fallen dead rufio
no assylum to be sent,
no place to heal or convent
for woe poor bipolar rufio
block your eyes, fuzzy rufio
look away from the bulging scene
look away from your fate's tv screen.

8 Layers of Joy

Today I traveled to an undisclosed dinner theatre to view "42nd Street". During the intermission, I ordered and consumed a slice of chocolate cake meant for two. It had eight layers, set in a cake then frosting order, and my tummy was filled with joy. A friend then offered me a half of their piece, which I gladly accepted. Technically, I had cake for three.

I had to pace myself in order to prevent exploding, imploding, or just ploding.

On top of that, I had two NOS today during my drive to the Twin Cities.

I am going to get diabetes. I am going to fall into a suger-induced coma.

I regret nothing.

-Ethan

NOS

Yeah.. Vinny is quitting NOS. Hmmm... not for me, though! I'm a champion!

I will continue to drink NOS.

-Ethan

Oh, parting is such sweet sorrow....

Ethan and I are addicted to NOS. It's true. NOS is like our lover. Of course, we are talking about the energy drink, not the stuff you put in cars. That's just gross.

Today, we figured out something. We have collected all the cans that we have drunk out of since August, and as of today, we have over 200 cans collected. Now, we figure that Ethan and I have contributed to 80% of the cans collected. Therefore:

200x0.8=160

160/2=80 cans each

There are sixteen ounces of energizing goodness in each can.

16x200=3200 ounces consumed

3200x0.8=2560

2560/2=1280 ounces consumed per person

Now, though many people may not know this, 128 oz. equals one gallon.

1280/128=10 gallons EACH consumed by both of us since August.

In light of this information, I, Vinny, have decided to quit drinking NOS. After drinking so much NOS, my bowels are completely ruined. It almost hurts to drink NOS. I'm sorry, my dear NOS. You shall be missed forever.

Amen.

-Vinny