Oh, parting is such sweet sorrow....

Ethan and I are addicted to NOS. It's true. NOS is like our lover. Of course, we are talking about the energy drink, not the stuff you put in cars. That's just gross.

Today, we figured out something. We have collected all the cans that we have drunk out of since August, and as of today, we have over 200 cans collected. Now, we figure that Ethan and I have contributed to 80% of the cans collected. Therefore:

200x0.8=160

160/2=80 cans each

There are sixteen ounces of energizing goodness in each can.

16x200=3200 ounces consumed

3200x0.8=2560

2560/2=1280 ounces consumed per person

Now, though many people may not know this, 128 oz. equals one gallon.

1280/128=10 gallons EACH consumed by both of us since August.

In light of this information, I, Vinny, have decided to quit drinking NOS. After drinking so much NOS, my bowels are completely ruined. It almost hurts to drink NOS. I'm sorry, my dear NOS. You shall be missed forever.

Amen.

-Vinny